Anonymous asked: Do you seriously agree with panerasexual in saying men dont get a say in feminism? A lot of men want equality and your just casting us aside like our support means nothing and thats really fucked up
You are a perfect example at someone who has failed the “pro-minority” stage in the majority identity model.
For those of you who don’t know what that means, I painted you this beautiful picture.
Pre-exposure/pre-contact: This is a time when little thought is given to the issues. You may notice a difference, but have not put any value to it.
Contact: This is when you realize the inequalities.
Conflict: This is when you examine the inequalities. You may feel naive, ashamed, or appalled not only that injustices had been occurring around you, but that you had been taking part in them, either actively or inactively.
Pro-minority: This is the place you just fell out of. This is when you try to set yourself aside from the injustice. Often times people will submerse themselves in the minority culture. You can either do this gracefully, or not (as you have done). The difference between the two is the person who succeeds at this stage offers support. The one who fails offers leadership. Stand next to the minority, not in front of them.
Your failure or success at this stage depends on the minorities’ reception of your behaviors. If you stand up in this stage as a supporter- someone who is there to help the cause for genuine beliefs- you are likely to be accepted and integrated. If you stand up in this stage as a savior you will be rejected. You will be seen as patronizing.
This stage is a learning stage. You will be rejected until you find the happy medium. The aspect which you have failed is the way you took the rejection. Instead of understanding, you got defensive. The way that you have been received should tell you that you overstepped your boundaries as a male ally.
Failure in this stage leads to retreat to the conflict stage. From this stage, you can advance to the pro-minority stage again and reevaluate your tactics or you can reevaluate the conflict.
If you succeed in this stage, you advance to integration.
**IF YOU GET TO THIS STAGE FOR SELFISH REASONS SUCH AS TRYING TO COMBAT INTERNALIZED SEXISM, TRYING TO GAIN ACCEPTANCE AS AN EGO BOOST, ETC. YOU WILL IMMEDIATELY FAIL**
Integration: This is where you are respected in your support and have been accepted by the minority community.
In closing: I’m sorry me casting your support aside hurt your feelings! Let me take a nice walk to the store (during which I will be catcalled, then blamed for being catcalled for dressing so seductively), to buy you some tissues (with my $0.23 less every hour) so you can wipe your male ally tears!!!!
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Our psychological state allows us to see only what we want/need/feel to see at a particular time. What five words do you see?
Dread, Malice, Moist, Made, Bail
um…. did I commit a crime lol
Bail, Secret, Cut, Peep, Chat
Followed by “Doogie” :\
Yeah, that about sums it up, and not in a good way.
Rage, dreads, secret, kick, passion
I swear I’m not lying I just got “lust, kiss, rage, rug, passion”
Fool malice secret naked hate ???
eat, kiss, naked, passion, dread
ok it was nice until the dread part but its still accurate
cut, malice, naked, cum, kiss
w h a t
fool, leave, arm, scar, flesh
panerasexual again you’re completely correct. I’m not making excuses just saying as to why I and some others may be getting a little worked up over something that didn’t need to be as big as it was. Either way I still think you’re great so just keep doing whatever you do. Thanks for being cool and accepting my apology :)
panerasexual no I agree they don’t deserve any praise for being part of any social group, just like men shouldn’t get and praise for believing in gender equality/ feminist ideals. But I just think that guys who do believe in that stuff would be offended by being told to call themselves ‘allies’, because then they wouldn’t be as included as somebody who called themselves a true feminist. I’m not saying it’s right or making excuses, I’m just trying to play devils advocate and letting you know wwhere people might be coming from.